»
S
I
D
E
B
A
R
«

Results

Below the blather of the next paragraph or two, you’ll find the official rankings of finishers.  Below that, and increasing in population in the coming days, are ruminations (visible below or links to same plus pics) from those who were out there.  Quickly consume the numbers, then enjoy the true fiction stories that follow…

Because conditions were unique enough this year – Snow? Snow? – there’s value in also showing just how far many runners progressed even though Mom Nature blasted us with not just both barrels, but the full battery.  Of note, of 61 100M starters, 23 finished, not quite 38% finisher rate; of 37 100K starters, only 8 finished (Sir Francis’ apparition was seen at enough on-ridge aid stations to confirm his finishing – add on his deep well of bonus minutes, and voila!! He wins!! Yay!!), just a smidge over 20% finish rate.  Some might say that because many of the 100K’ers started with Mom Nature past her warm up miles – or conversely, the 100M’ers were too far into their own insane investment miles to stop that early – the difference in finisher percentages isn’t a big surprise.

Yes, sucking up and bribing the Buffoon and his more capable pack of Cohorts proved fruitful for the running Two Moon pack.  Alas, tho bonus minutes were spread very liberally this year, unfortunately gobs of ‘em didn’t land on finishing times.  Very frequent and entertaining goodies in the mail (edible and comical and both – Flash didn’t get that high in the ranking off just her speedy shoes) or handed out upon arrival (Aloha’woo’hoo’ooe!!), risky and laughable e-mails from newbies (Upchuckian in nature), enjoying pre-weekend frivolity opportunities, incredibly poor bowling grace and scores (Grovial and Grapyal manifestations), costumes (w/ and w/o moving parts, Saltlickites), treating aid station staff as cordially as they did you, buddying up cuz you wanted to (several of you), persevering through a barrage of inhospitable conditions (most of you), not carping when you might have done so at a different venue, loving the running… and so many other indicators of trail joy, each earned minutes in your favor.  Of course, we found boner behavior, and those minutes may just migrate to next year just on principle:  whining as if you were the only one having a rough day (and expecting sympathy? Bwa-ha-ha-ha!!), squirreling away a bottle of champagne just for yourself, exiting a station without courtesy of “thanks” (not expected, but noticed when not proffered), fortunately were the exceptional small population of experiences.  Probably good that some of that occurs, else we wouldn’t have the mild thrill of later relating the story of… “remember THAT bozo?”…

I’m guessing the more Type A among readers of the Results will experience some instant frustration in not discovering information that has utility in comparing these performances – even if you do figure out which nickname relates to a real person – with times from other events.  Gosh, we should care?  Rather, we hope participants appreciate how Two Moon’s character distinguishes it from other venues, so that both for how we’re different and how we’re competently comparable to other sought out events, it’s an easy decision about where you’ll want to spend a two moon weekend in March of next year.  For the insatiably curious, send the Buffoon an entertaining plea and perhaps you’ll get a hint of who’s whom below.  They know who they are, and they can disclose under separate cover the reality you seek, with better stories than I could possibly fake.  Enjoy the hunt ‘n peck on the web…

100M Rankings Time Miles
Icky Ocky 19:43 100
Speedgoat 19:47 100
Flash 21:08 100
MooMan 21:48 100
Wild Bill 22:28 100
Chicken Noodle 25:16 100
Boopstinater 26:21 100
Max 26:48 100
Patoplasm 27:05 100
Meat 27:10 100
Baltimoron 28:52 100
Sparkles 28:53 100
Jonnie come lately 29:18 100
Buford 30:37 100
Surge 31:51 100
BeachBum 32:13 100
Geezer Runner 33:33 100
Cocklebur 33:34 100
Outback 34:07 100
Sunshine 34:08 100
DirtDiva 34:13 100
Bus Rider 36:13 100
Rockus 36:40 100
RahRah 81
Chief 81
ChunkyButt 81
Doughboy 81
The Sox 81
Blisteroon 81
Slick 81
Maverick 81
Flywheel 81
Hamster 81
Badger 81
Bulldog 81
Moonshadow 68
Moondoggy 68
Mr. Persistence 68
Smoooooth 68
Dead Last 68
Mr. Grace 68
Lurch 68
Her Lordship 68
Reefer 68
Ducky 68
BoDiddles 68
Waldo 68
Jennzilla 65
ABRAcatABRA 62
Bubbles 54
ArcticLupus 48
Bull 44
The Slug 44
Confused 44
iJilly 44
Chocorunner 44
4midable 44
Jitters 44
TrailDucky 44
gitterdun 32
Depends 26
PowerHouse 23
Cougar 11

100K Rankings

Time

Miles

Sir Francis 14:24 62.5
Dangereux 16:43 62.5
Mossbite 17:04 62.5
QueekDrool 17:09 62.5
J.K. Tizzle 17:17 62.5
Runalong 17:31 62.5
BonHomme 18:16 62.5
BobbyJoBillyBob 19:07 62.5
Rosebud 20:13 62.5
TrailTrash 56
Doongleberry 56
Profiro 43
D’Artagnon 43
Scat 43
Ueberstaerke 43
Muffin 43
Virginia Slim 43
Chonita 43
Shmoopy 43
Grinner 30
Coyote Pooh 30
NeenerNeener 30
Pinkie 30
Digger 30
Victwa 30
Kimmy 28.5
Cactus FiFi Rose 28.5
Upchuck 28.5
Crash 28.5
Kimalicious 28.5
ToughCookie 25
Cringe 18
Sparky 18
∑ß§ 18
Bullet 18

Ruminations ‘n Such

“I learned several things tonight: 1) A chicken tamal, fresh out of the steamer, might be the best mid-race food EVER. 2) C2M= quality event with great aid stations and great people. 3) Canada’s reputation as a country with quality people was upheld in fine fashion. 4) Clothing for rainy Bay Area runs is woefully inappropriate for snow flurries atop Northoff Ridge.

Seriously, if you get a chance to pass on to Luis that those tamales made my night, I would really appreciate it. Coming in from the cold and being handed a steaming tamal was an experience I would run many miles for.”

– Victoria Folks

“after two full days on the Nordoff Ridge / Coyote 2 Moon / Gridley Top Aid Station. I have composed a haiku. Enjoy.

cold dark wet dripping tents

shivering runners stagger in

giant chicken helps them out”

– Luis Escobar

“Now that my brain has recovered, I have a few thoughts about the opportunity for the emotional and physical pain and torture that you and your crew provided at C2M 2010.  Because of:

1. The 54,000 feet of up and down, some very, very steep, and all on trails or rough roads,

2. The brilliant sunshine (about 15 minutes of it),

3. The cool rain (a lot of it a few times),

4. Some wind (a lot of it a few times),

5. Mud (a lot of it a few times),

6. Several very wet stream crossings,

7. Snow (a lot of it a few times, but especially the run on the fresh three inches along the ridge for miles at 3 AM with a calm wind and a half moon – WOW!),

8. The truly ULTRA volunteers and the RD who could not do enough for the runners – especially those who endured the rain, snow, wind, darkness, and mud at the aid stations on the ridge for hours.  They don’t come any better.  The runners owe them.

9. Great swag that is definitely distinctive and useful (except possibly the flyer for Sacred Vortex Tours with Elvis of Sedona…),

10. And finally, a fun celebration at the finish line on Sunday morning, complete with a catered breakfast and warm sunshine,

- I have determined that the C2M 2010 was one of the most fun ultras I have ever run in over the last 25 years.  For me, it was definitely what trail ultrarunning is all about.  Many thanks to you and your crew for the run, and see you next year – I wouldn’t miss it.”

– Bud Phillips

“No one knows who won or how the results are computed but we do know this:

Less than 1/3 of the starters finished.

I was the best bowler on the second to worst team Thursday.  The only worse team was partially populated by zombies.  We lead the league in gutter balls.

I was the first 100K-er across the finish line (6:20AM) but almost certainly not the winner.

I lined up at noon next to Karl Meltzer.  I finished the next morning about three hours ahead of him.  You could look it up.  Well maybe not online, but Dave Combs has it scribbled down somewhere.

The 100K has over 19K feet of climbing, the 100M- 25K.  It’s gnarly even without weather.

The week before was sunny and nice, as the week after is predicted to be.

The forecast was for a big storm to move in Saturday around noon (my starting time) and move out Sunday morning (presumably just as I crossed the finish line).

How big?  Forecasts were ambiguous.  If the storm veered a little west, we would get a glancing blow and apart from some showers and very cold temps, no big deal.  If the storm veered more to the east, it could be epic.

The first 100M’s started Friday evening, the rain started on schedule Saturday at 11.  Our group left at noon.  Until well after dark we experienced about 1/3 dry, 1/3 showers and 1/3 hard rains.  Up high the rains turned to hail, then sleet, then snow.  The sleet blew sideways and stung my face.  The snow came down in big fluffy flakes and brought joy.  The rain was cold, miserable and disheartening.  No one ever knew what would come next but reports were it would get worse in the evening and then stay bad through Sunday morning. I was feeling whiny.

The trail to Cozy Dell (mile 30 for 100K-ers) included two steep miles of slick clay mud.  If you know clay mud you know that it is the equivalent of a surface layer of vaseline over a base of stainless steel.  Pretty much everyone was falling down.  At Cozy Dell at 8, I put on warmer clothes for the trip back up to the arctic ridge. In the course of changing clothes I got chilled.  The guy next to me dropped.  The rain went from drizzle to downpour.  I didn’t want to go back out into the cold rain, I didn’t want to go back up the muddy trail, I didn’t want to go back up on the frozen ridge.  But I went. Some stupid voice in my head said, “How can you make plans to go to Barkley if you can’t handle this?”  I left the warm tent, the rain stopped and never returned.  Later I found out that lots of folks dropped out just about that time, not wanting to face a full night of this crud.  On the ridge a blizzard was raging with white-out conditions.  Trail markers were obliterated.  The RD began worrying about the safety of runners on a 6000′ ridge, in the middle of the night, in freezing white-out conditions. [The guy’s an idiot of epic proportions.]

The rest of my night was lots of fun.  From the ridge there are four down and up again spurs; plus the trail that we ascend initially and descend ultimately.  We cover about nine miles of the ridge.  As the night wore on and the clouds parted, guess what?  The ridge got warmer.  Go figure.

I began my nine mile trek along the ridge from Gridley Top to Ridge Junction around 3AM.  Soon I was in 2, 3, 4 inches of snow.  A winter wonderland.  This wasn’t here a few hours ago.  My flashlight went dead and I left it off.  The moon was now out, the new snow shining bright; the city lights stretching as far as the eye could see 5000′ below, the shooting stars put on a show for free.  It wasn’t very cold.  I was feeling groovy.

It was great connecting with so many ultrarunning friends and acquaintances.   Chris Scott and his pals put on a unique and wonderful event.  But it isn’t usually this unique.  Not quite epic, but with a small change in atmospheric pressure, it certainly could have been.”

– Mark Swanson