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2012 SMSA 50K Hike/Run Coyote Participants Results

Shortly after arriving from Hawaiiland, Mauricio joined the Cohorts; and shortly after retiring from the Seabees, conjured up the idea of raising money for the Seabee Memorial Scholarship Association via a benefit activity in the dirt. Once the basic concept found some direction and captured a qualified OK from the Forest Service, Marty opted to use the same territory we used for Two Moon, further simplifying the logistics and operational planning of an event with sufficient history on that terrain. With Two Moon on hiatus for 2012, Marty willingly delegated the Chief Volunteer Services role to me, and our rich and deep local resources got tapped to support the SMSA 50K Hike/Run. Our Vols are the best, and equaled in value by Dan Dicke’s band of radio geeks (and I use that term honorably), without which either of those groups could we have staged such credible events in previous years under difficult circumstances. All to say, Marty was assured of an infrastructure that greatly improved his first sojourn into the realm of event directorshipdom.

To “enter” the Hike/Run, one needed only tell Marty that s/he donated to the Scholarship (tho certainly donating to the Scholarship didn’t also require someone to do miles on the Ojai trails). Giving entrants the option to begin and finish whenever/wherever they chose, without restrictions to distance, hikers/runners apparently distributed themselves over all the trails spidering off the ridge. While most entrants based from Rose Valley (Marty’s designated operations center), other hikers apparently began and ended their treks from Gridley, Sisar, Thacher and Cozy Dell trailheads, as we heard from our Vols positioned at those locations.

Not surprisingly, more than a few Two Moon veterans used this opportunity to tackle the ridge trails to “avenge” their storm-forced official DNF of 2011’s C2M. Still others just wanted to grab some miles on an otherwise (and atypical for our history) perfect weather weekend. And a few newbies to the Coyote experience were invited in for entertainment value, but under the “supervision” of a veteran. It’s for those Coyote veterans and their charges that this report is dedicated (dessicated?), even tho apparently other participants did not come from our Coyote pack.

So, in the style of C2M, what follows are the official, bonus/boner minute enhanced results of those Coyotes whose weekend trek began and finished at Rose Valley, and involved visiting all seven routes to the ridgetop. (We haven’t heard from those who based from other trailheads, so their results are not included here.) Bonus minutes were awarded consistent with protocols elsewhere on this website; boner minutes in similar fashion, expanded this year to recognize those who blatantly ignored suggestions on navigation aids and/or otherwise frustrated our Comm system by not being where time on the course suggested you should have been (yes, you, Kersplatt!!). The raw times, as you will correctly gauge, differ from the official times (e.g., Cougar 38:42 was the fastest women’s time, raw-wise), so if your entry in another higher profile event hinges on capturing a more credible time than the one posted here, have your people contact my people and we’ll negotiate.

LoneRunMan Grant	22:09
BuckleHoarder Herrmann	23:55
Crunch Kennedy	26:51
Bold ‘n Relentless Boyd	27:13
MasonHam Chastain	27:43
Uberstaerke Herrmann	28:10
CocPimp Layson	28:15
KurrencyKing Lysenko	28:29
PuddleJumper Dyatt	29:15
MoonDoggy Dyatt	29:15
GreenPiece Pate	29:51
Cougar Bonnett	30:42
Spritz Lanctot	31:02
Gravity Newton	31:06
Ducky Decker	32:26
Droid Rhone	32:46
Shweeepea Antonis	33:33
Lazedown Lawlor	33:35
Guv’nor Posner	34:16
TriGeorgy Quarles	35:47
Doughboy Doman	36:17
BoDiddle Kohr	36:38
Studly Dietz	36:47
Bloodthirsty Ketteler	37:27
Tobi Castanon	38:17
Surprise!! Listenberger	41:15
Ghost Swisegood	42:03
Jumpin’ J Cheng	43:45
BenWahBahlz Gaetos	43:45
Castaway Liu	43:45
Dweeflesnip Nassi	46:57
Kersplatt Pratt	47:02

A couple sidebars worth mentioning, both of them about the Forest Service. (1) In the final few days before the event, instructions from the Forest Service on access to the ridge – for the much-needed radio support – flip-flopped almost daily. On Thursday, 3/8, Marty was told that vehicles could only travel to Gridley Top because of snow, ice and rocks on the ridge east of where the chip seal road met the ridge (a couple rocks, yes; snow/ice, absolutely none). Friday morning, that message was reversed, but because the radio team had been apprised of Thursday’s shift in direction on Thursday, Friday’s capability was diminished for priorities elsewhere. Without planned radio support at Topa, repeaters could not be placed at other locations to allow communication at Sisar and Gridley Bottom, impacting those locations and the general network. The “smoke screen” of false information about ridge road conditions lessened the capability of our radio support, which under more weather-stressed conditions (like last year) could have resulted in dire consequences; this year meant merely (?) missing accountability for some runners for long hours. In more cooperative years – when the desk jockeys relied on our “feet on the ground” views of what was out in the dirt – we could have avoided such misinformation from hampering smart operations in the field. But since our support of field work is deemed merely selfish involvement, the invitation for mutually beneficial relations seems to have lost its priority for those desk jockeys.

(2) The permit for Marty’s event involved paying $127 to the Forest Service. While the Forest Service didn’t disclose how they arrived at that number, it presumably approximated 5% against something close to $2000 in private donations to the Scholarship. And while there are IRS rules on disclosure, does such disclosure extend to all federal agencies in whatever capacity they unilaterally deem appropriate? Marty did not require entrants to donate specific amounts; donations could have derived from individuals not intending to participate in the Hike/Run but who nonetheless wanted to contribute to the cause; no accounting of individual donations was ever sought by Marty or expected as disclosure from the Scholarship Association. Yet, for reasons of “recognizing revenue” for determining fee amounts, the Forest Service demanded disclosure of otherwise private financial information. To further exacerbate the impropriety, none of the donated amounts were available to Marty for costs he might otherwise have incurred for staging the event, which logically means the Forest Service just levied a flat tax against a non-profit entity totally removed from the event itself. Had Marty needed cash from donations to operate the event, the Scholarship would have been diminished by the amounts the Forest Service calculated as part of taxable revenue. This year’s tax against a non-profit donation is more egregious than last year’s for its further removal from the cash flow associated with the event itself.

2011 Results

Once you wade through all the stories below, you’ll find the number crunching that involves the inclusion of well-earned Bonus & Boner Minutes across all “finishers” – yes, all Starters find presentation below… If you’re among the list below and don’t quite “get” how you ended up where you did, there’s a good chance you didn’t pay enough attention to the thrill of Two Moon with its assortment of opportunities to not just improve your time, but noticeably fatten it. Throw a hissy-fit, I care!!… or, just don’t fret over the number crunching end of the results and just enjoy drifting through the Runner/Vol stories below, as it’s in the story telling that defines the event’s personality, not the consumption of time.

Without further ado, here’s 2011’s operatic effusion: When so many voices from so many locations over Two Moon’s days speak so eloquently, I’m loathe to either summarize or trump that chorus. Instead, I invite you to grab not just a beer, but a whole sixpack, and enjoy your roaming through what follows. Coyote stuff proves a persistent assortment of amazing personalities and sore-cheeks-from-laughter entertainment, all amid natural settings (bowling alleys?) that serve as suitable forum for our social interaction and dirt/mud travel. That we found greater challenge than anticipated, brought by Mother Nature’s tantrum, didn’t dampen the Coyote spirit; she just helped us underscore its strength of voice. You true-blood Coyotes out there (inclusive, absolutely, of our terrific Volunteers), thanks for making 2011 another distinct adventure!! For those looking in, any constraining reason that similar experiences can’t happen near your own forest habitat? Find a fat moon and unleash a big howl…

Order of presentation – Haikus, Links to photos/videos/blogs, Other Poesy, Butchered Songs, Embedded PDF Reports, Top Tens, Snippets of Reports. Yes, some editing and carving, but only enough to make readable w/o (hopefully) damaging the intended messages.

The Haikus:

Weaving up Topa
Cold and wet early Spring snow
Where’s my soft, warm bed?
- Rockus Patel

Running high and low
Fragrance of sage and blown snow.
The Moons howl to friends.
- Surprise!! Listenberger

Howling winds and rain,
Scattered runners, wet torn tents,
Wild dogs give in!
- Old Indestructible Boyd

My Excitement for C2M
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Frozen Extremities
I don’t like the cold
Goretex – no match for the ridge
Jim Beam, don’t fail me
- Panda DeSplinter

Howling rain sleet snow!
Easy going, bonus pointsJ
Let’s get out of here!
- Jack’lope Jewell

Testing her limits
To die on Ojai’s mountains?
Worth it for the swag!
- Jessica Rudder

Barking at the Moon
Basketball Tourney Madness
What the f*** to do?
- Greg Lanctot

Anticipation
Quads trashed running down
Legs burning on the long climbs
Good time had by all

Gratitude
Selfless hours of work
We could not Play without them
Thank you, Volunteers!

Ode to Charlie
Don’t need “tiger blood”
“Duh, winning” is not the point
Buffoon says, “no trolls”
- Mudflinger Gifford

Links to videos/photos/blogs/FB:

Other Poesy:

Reeks Hage:

Coyote Two Moon
Flakes of snow, Monsoon.
New friends take flight
Up to breathtaking heights!
Down to hell.
Back to (hope to) Gridley Top.
No sight of moon,
Back down to Cozy.
No one to officially
Finish this year, but
Oh, boy Bufffoon & volunteers,
C2M sure was swell!
Will we be back again?
You Betcha! The girls from Minnesota will!

Flower Heinselman:

Moons A’Plenty
The full moon it beckons, draws a full-throated cry
from precipitous ravines ‘bove the hamlet Ojai.
Start staggers up the trail at Thacher School’s gate;
‘Twas not always so (at least not in oh-eight).
Runs down and up, with nare pause to whine
’til sanity’s thread near unravels like twine.
It’s said that the abode of a maddened March hare
was seen one Easter’s eve at Gridley Top way up there.
The views are fantastic, the vistas sublime,
at least in the years all’s not covered in rime.
At last near the end, like a thickening river
sanity’s strands all reform, friendships stronger than ever.
So hear me, stout runners, if you’re not prone to swoon
and come join the fun called Coyote Two Moon.

ShweetFeet Nunes:

I missed a night of bowling, something I wont do twice,
lost my head, although some might think it was nice,
wrote a song I never had a chance to play,
but the winds froze my hands……..it would not have sounded good anyway,
With songs and howls on the ridge,
and rain, sleet, snow some might cringe,
but when thinking of the night that began,
I’ll keep a few memories at hand,
The wind screaming in my ears and sleet testing my faith
And giant bunny and rooster keeping me safe.

Blisteroon Morrison:

There once was a device that was cloaking
I thought the Buffoon was just joking
Then I tripped and I fell
The idiot said it suited me well
The device so many laughs was evoking

Karmallow Dudney:
The C2M’s not a race for whiney groaners,
The staggered start guarantees there are no loners,
But finish too soon,
And the Two Moon Buffoon,
Will be filling your smart ass with well earned boners.

Spritz Lanctot:
The Two Moons raise lots of blue dicks
In the mountains running with hot chicks
So the ones that I’ve gleaned
Were fresh and so clean
Only to give me blue balls in the sticks

BadBoy’sDaddy Vrolijk:
There once was a runner from Houston,
In an aid-station chair he was snoozin’
He awoke with a start
And a thunderous fart
And cried “Crikey, it’s time I was cruisin’!”

Surprise!! Listenberger:
Don’t you drink the Jack or Jim Beam
It’ll be there waitin’ at mile seventeen
And don’t you know to steer clear of the pate
And what’s with all that poison oak, ain’t had a spring like this since last year.
It’s enough to make us want to go run LA…

Butchered Songs:

Flower Heinselman:

“The Long and Winding Road”
The steep and winding trail that leads to your tent
will never disappear
I’ve seen that trail before, it always leads me here
Leads me to your tent
The wild and windy night that the rain washed away
Has left piles of snow flakes all the day…

“Midnight at the Oasis”
Midnight at the aid station
Send your crew chief to bed
Moonbeams shining our faces
Traces of madness in our heads…

“Baby It’s Cold Outside”
Mooner it’s cold outside
(I really can’t stay) But mooner it’s cold outside
(Got to go away) But mooner it’s cold outside
(This evening has been) Been hoping you’d not drop
(So very cold) Check your hands they’re just like ice…

“Stayin’ Alive”
Well you can tell by the way I limp when I walk,
I’m a coyote man; I babble when I talk
Wind howling loud, aid stations warm
Seems I’ve been running, since I was born.
And now it’s alright, it’s ok
And you may run the other way
We can try to understand
Why what we do gets out of hand.
Whether you’re a runner or whether you’re a walker
You’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive.
Feel the knees a breakin and the quads a shakin’
Yet we’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive.
Ow-oo oo oo just stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
Ow-oo oo oo, stayin’ alive…

“What’s Love Got to Do with It?”
You must understand
That as long as you stand
You must climb the hill.
That it’s just option one
And we’re still here for fun
For a Two Moon thrill.

It’s physical
Only illogical
You must try to ignore
That pain means more than that

[Chorus:]
Oh what’s runnin’ got to do, got to do with it?
What’s runnin’, just as long as you’re in motion?
What’s runnin’ got to do, got to do with it?
Who needs to run Ojai’s hills ‘long the ocean?

It may seem to you
That I’m acting confused
That I’ve flipped my lid
If I tend to look dazed
I’ve read it someplace
Somethin’ ’bout Sigmund’s Id.

There’s a name for it
There’s a phrase that fits
But whatever the reason
Howling does it for me

[Chorus]

I’ve gotten lost in a new direction
But I have to say
I’ve ignored all the aid station protection
It scares me to wander this way

[Chorus]

What’s speed got to do, got to do with it
What’s speed but a way to try to win it
What’s speed got to do, got to do with it
With too much of that you may win boner minutes

Jack’lope Jewell:
And borrowing from Bob Dylan’s It’s a Hard Rain,
Oh where are you goin’ my moon-eyed one
and where are you goin’ my howlin’ young son
We’re goin’ to the mountains, hailed by the bufoo-oon
we’ll run to the ridgetops, and howl at the moo-oon
we won’t think of stoppin’, through midnight and noo-oon
we’ll take shots of whiskey, and dance like a loo-oon
then get outta Dodge, ‘cause the rain’s comin’ soo-oon
And it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a haaarrrd
It’s a hard raaaiiiinnn a-gonna fa-a-all

Embedded PDF Reports:

Geezer Phillips

Au Gratton

Lazedown Lawlor

Wheels W-J Twas the night before Two Moons

Wheels Wheeler-Jacobs

Shmoopy Botella

Top Tens:

Au Gratton:

You know you’re at C2M 2011 when:
10. Your fellow runners are adorning propeller hats, butterfly wings and jungle bells.
9. You receive a free dermabrasion treatment on top of the ridge with your paid entry fee. Courtesy of Mother Nature.
8. Your Race Director is wearing a Pig costume.
7. You’re headlamp is doing no good, cause your breathe is so hot in the cold air you can’t see through it.
6. You reach Howard’s Creek “Love Shack” and are offered Peace, Love and Merlot.
5. The “Rockstar” volunteers offer to help you change your clothes, cause your damn fingers won’t work anymore.
4. There’s a rubber snake on top of the ridge in a blizzard. What the…
3. You find yourself running down Cozy Dell in a pair of platform sneakers made of mud, but don’t remember putting them on.
2. Chicken broth seems like the next best thing since sliced bread.
And the number 1 reason you know you’re at C2M 2011 when:
Every runner, crew and volunteer has returned safely off the mountain.

Blisteroon Morrison:
Top ten unexpected happenings at C2M
10. My girls receiving coyote puppets from the kind buffoon
9. The patagonia beanie in the goodie bag.
8. Actually seeing the full moon unobstructed on the way to sisar.
7. Hearing that Dean Dyatt planned on listening to the Fountainhead audiobook over the next 26 hours.
6. Seeing that Rajeev didn’t wear socks. On purpose.
5. Rain Friday night. I prepared for it…but didnt expect it so soon.
4. Vomiting and vertigo at mile 28 and 29. Luckily a couple of salt pills fixed that quick.
3. Finding a mini bottle of rum in my pack on my way up from Cozy Dell.
2. Discovering animal farm at Gridley top. (of course the pig was the leader!)
1. Hearing the following idiotic words come out of my mouth after 81 miles in 30 hours: “But I just spent 30 minutes putting on dry clothes…do you think he will change his mind?”

Back’OThePack:
10. Finally got to drive part of the PCH down to Zuma beach.
9. Finding strawberry’s the size of my fist at The Lil Red Barn.
8. Whale watching w/ Island Packers, (saw twelve grey whales, hundreds of
dolphins, numerous sea lions, a lighthouse and a German tourist fellow
produce his own chum which he sent over the side of the boat).
7. Bowling for the first time in 20 years and I haven’t gotten any worse
in that time (still can’t crack 80).
6. Starting a fun run/hike/death march at night versus some ungodly early
time in the morning.
5. Seeing Blake Woods camera at Howard AS, then seeing Blake’s usual
smiling face taking pictures of all the tortured souls.
4. Free shots of Jack Daniels at Gridley Top. Unfortunately by the time I
wondered back up the hill on my second trip, the bar had shut down. My
guess is the AS Capt was keeping it for himself to celebrate the ongoing
Blizzard/Hurricane Party.
3. Having my testes descend sometime midweek after they had defrosted.
2. Getting to meet all the great AS volunteers, and having them take care
of my every need in life in less than five minutes, then kicking my butt
back onto the trail to head off to the next buffet. Thank you guys, you
provide an invaluable service.
1. The chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese sandwiches at Topa
rocked!!!

MonkeyBoy Wolfe: The spattering fidgets of MonkeyBoy on Coyote 2 Moon. I speak unto you the things I am saying.
13. The Bowling Ball has a skull in it…
12. Headlamps are awesome for illuminating fog and snow.
11. Do Gridley Top Chickens have large Talons?
10. Afro’s and Beer are a great way to top off the sweet single track descent down to Howard Creek Disco Party.
9. You wanna make an omelet, you gotta break some eggs.
8. It’s refreshing to participate in an event where the most competition in play was getting the last Hotel room in Ojai after midnight on Saturday night.
7. Yep, Kwijiboe dresses like that at every event, even 15 years later.
6. Volunteers are the ALL knowing, ALL seeing, Glue of this event.
5. Until last Thursday night, i didn’t know they made an XXXXXL Thong, let alone that it was suitable to bowl in.
4. Quesadilla’s make excellent aid station fare.
3. Those twirly hats sure do whirl in the wind.
2. Anybody else muscle sore from smiling and laughing?
1. “Guys, Let’s remember that it’s nights like last night that remind us why we do this.”
–excerpt from the soon to be published “The Tao of Icky Ocky”

Snippets of Stories:

Surprise!! Listenberger: …I had an awesome time. What a cool race that was! Awesome people, beautiful trails, great aid stations – I was having the time of my life (in an odd, masochistic kind of way)!

Oh Crap! Griste: Every aid station was incredible. The volunteers went out of their way to make sure each and every runner was taken care of, the aid stations were spa like, with a twist! I absolutely loved the course and I will have to tell you my cousin Hannah Roberts said it was way more difficult than HURT, and she loved it.

Rowing Sans Rudder: Please pass my thanks along to all the volunteers. The food was great! The entertainment was fabulous. My apologies (in addition to my thanks) to everyone on Gridley Top who had to be pulled off of other duties to help me get warm. There was a nice woman dressed as a rabbit that actually rubbed my hands to get the blood flowing (which was nice because I wouldn’t touch most ultra runners that are mid-race with a 10-foot pole). I’d also like to thank Luis for being understanding but also kicking all our butts so we wouldn’t waste anyone’s time trying to get really, really warm.

BadBoy’sDaddy Vrolijk: In spite of my disappointment at not having the opportunity to finish this course, I wouldn’t have missed the adventure of this past weekend for the world. It’s the stuff that makes for great stories.

I took the cheat-sheet instructions to heart, to hug the volunteers at each aid staion; I don’t think I made it to the kissing stage before we were yanked.

I tried to express my gratitude with hugs at each stop I made. I would have done the same if each hug had earned me boner minutes. Each hug I gave yielded a smile of pleasure, and that smile lifted my spirits for the miles ahead. For each person concerned about my well being, I empathized with the discomfort you felt in the cold and wet. I felt fortunate to be moving and generating heat, and I was grateful for the warmth you returned to me.

You provided to me and everyone I saw a spirit of hope and determination under conditions that would have found most running home. Some of you are friends, and some were strangers. You all treated me as a king.

Rocky Neslund: While every event etches its own unique imprints in our memories, I will always especially remember the challenging excitement of Topa in the hail storm and the trails to and from Rose in the dark. For me these experiences were very memorable character builders—in a very positive way.

The Aid Station Staffs were wonderfully helpful and considerate. Only through the Aid Station Crew’s caring nature can we have these kinds of events and experiences. Please give the Sisar, Ridge Junction and Rose Valley Crews my most heartfelt thanks. They were great!!!

Zeke Barlow (Ventura County Star): My favorite part of reading the comments was how people said despite — or because of? — the awful conditions and difficulty of the course, they had the best running time of their lives. One guy I talked to said that after running 100 miles, he is high for two weeks. Looks like you got much of the same out of these folks.

Dragonfly Heimer: thank you for a wonderful race and I hope all the “wonderful” volunteers and racers are all safe and sound. I enjoyed everything that “butt-kicking mountain” dished out to me and I thought your volunteers were super!!! Needless to say, I loved the aid station breakfast burritos, chicken quesadilla’s & spam/grill chesse sandwiches, and I enjoyed the costumes too!!! I know how hard it must have been for those volunteers in that cold weather, so please pass on the message to them how wonderful they were and appreciative I was.

Chocorunner Layson: …my sincerest and heart felt appreciation for one of the most memorable, fantastic, awesomeness adventures of my running career. Yes, I loved every second, step, wind, snow, wet, rain, hail….as I never really got to run that far before on the actual course….81 miles!! The 2011 C2M revelry embodies the true essence of ultra trail mountain running and it’s definitely one of the most memorable adventures of my running life …it was my first time to run 2 nights without sleep and got some pretty freakish hallucinations out there …are those tarantulas on the trail or alien lights in the sky? ….I loved every step of it…

I want to say a big thank you to all the heroic volunteers out there because without them, we wouldn’t have survived our trek. A special thanks to the volunteers at L/C and Gridley Top A/S, you made my trek extra warm and fuzzy and those breakfast burritos were to die for!

Cougar Bonnett: Thanks for a great memorable event. The volunteers, the aid stations and the course were the best. It was an incredible event.

Reeks Hage: Coyote Two Moon was quite the adventure! The volunteers and aid stations were fabulous – I had a grilled cheese & Spam sandwich for the first time at the top of Gridley and can’t remember anything tasting so good. Meeting other runners was so much fun – can’t wait to hear their stories, too!

Wow, volunteers…they keep you going and know what you need. I barely said “boo” (was trying to sneak up on them) at Howard and Gridley Top and the lady in the bunny ears and the crew in the animal suits were there to help in an instant! They were funny, but seriously knew what was up next and pointed you to where you needed to go – they felt like family ushering you onto the next stage. Was the snake real??

Au Gratton: All your volunteers welcomed Chilly and me with open arms at every Aid station. There are not enough superlatives to describe your crew. They all rocked!

Seamus Rogers: Whatever anyone says about the course or the weather, it was the finest example I’ve yet experienced of good, big-hearted people stepping up to take charge of fast moving conditions to avert a potential calamity. It was truly awe-inspiring to watch from a runner’s point of view. I have attended three years of post-incident wilderness emergency seminars through NOLS, but learned more watching you and the good folks at Gridley Top, and I know I only saw a tiny slice of what went on. I kept telling myself “this is my tribe”. I was very proud of everyone…

Rockus Patel: Thank you to all the volunteers who braved the ever worsening conditions just so we could test our limits.

Old Indestructible Boyd: Instead of a run, we were treated to the giving and sharing that is really the spirit of trail running. “Need batteries – here, take my extras”. “Do you need to use my rain gear – I am finished, but you are welcome to borrow it so you may continue”, “Do you need some more Hammer Gels – I have some you could take with you”, “Come in and sit by the fire, here are some warm dry blankets and clothes”, and so it continued.

This event will endure into trail running history as one of the great survival stories. My silly mistakes compounded into being “lost” for hours, and I did run through the first stormy night unsupported for 20 miles. My arrival at Rose Valley will be one of my fondest memories of C2M – the crew there had me wrapped in a blanket and dry clothes, and plied with hot drinks for an hour. When Andy arrived, and helped me prepare for the next stages, I was ready to go, thanks in no part to their wonderful care.

ShweetFeet Nunes: Thanks for the Beer and the Dance at Howard Creek… I couldn’t even tell it was raining.

Patoplasm McMurtry: I also had another different experience in this race: I actually took time to enjoy myself at the aid stations. I ate, I drank, and I chatted – I never wanted to leave any of them as the aid station hospitality was so great. Except for a minor regret deep down inside that I didn’t finish 100 miles, I’d have to say this was one of my most fun/interesting/memorable races (oops, I mean runs) ever. I think I said that after last years C2M in the snow too. So I guess it is just the nature of C2M.

I don’t ever volunarilly take myself out of a race, but up there at Gridley Top I had a weird premonition and just knew that I should run back to the start/finish. I’m glad I did. I had an awesome run by my lonesome out in the blizzard and wouldn’t trade that for anything. The dry cloths, good jacket, and handwarmers in the gloves kept me comfy despite the elements.. yeah, it was pretty epic.

As far as aid stations folks go, all volunteers were incredible, but truly LOUD shout out has to go to the ridge junction folks. I don’t think they saw a lot of people and were out there fighting the elements on their own most of the night. When I got to that aid station (what, about 10:30 PM?) I’m sure they hadn’t seen anyone in a while, and if it weren’t for the smiling faces of the aid station workers, that would have been a really sorry scene – tents starting to blow over, snow everywhere, wind ripping through the station, etc. When I got there, I told the station folks not to worry about me as I had dropped and they didn’t have any obligation to me at this stage – I was just getting back to Thatcher. But no, they had soup, blew the snow off the food, and gave me warmth, nourishment and friendship. It was really quite a remarkable scene. I guess they only saw two other people that night (Kevin Lawler and some 100 K dude?). God, I hated to leave, but started to get cold so had to move on. If the weather wasn’t so bad, i would have probably stayed there and cheered on other runners as they showed up. And then when I got to the school, it was great to see the folks there. So supportive. But by that time the sh** was starting to hit the fan and they were beginning to scramble. So I retired to my tent in the middle of the field and immediately fell asleep (after a beer, of course.) Dang, that was one wet place.

Thank you for putting on this type of race. It definitely is what running is about. Although after two trips to C2M I am beginning to think the weather in California always sucks (except on the Thursday before your races it always seems nice).

Wheels Wheeler-Jacobs: all the aid stations were fabulous except Gridley Bottom, which i didn’t reach so how would i know? My special highlight was the burritos at Topa, of which i consumed 3. The “Greeters” at Howard Creek were also fun as they ran me into the aid station. They must have gotten in a few miles at that rate. Everyone was super helpful and friendly, even when they were dealing with the ca ca weather. I tried to reward them all, naughty or nice, with candy canes. It was the least i could do!

Outside of any “winning” I had a wonderful time despite the weather. There is something special about this event for sure. I have tried to explain it to some of my runner friends here, but not everyone gets it.

PuddleJumper Dyatt: C2M volunteers…WOW!!! The fabulous weather brought out the best in these brave and true volunteers…each aid station brought wonderful cheers, helpful hands, warm food and spirited encouragement. The best volunteers on the planet who give and give and give and gave some more, before during and after the frivolity and fierce weather thank you, thank you, thank you…

Back’OThePack Oelrich: Two Moon Buffoon and all the other creatures of the night, thanks for making what could have been a very miserable trip, something to remember and laugh about for years to come. I mentioned this to TMB in another email but will say it here again, you guys run one hell of an operation, you kept us safe, fed and out of serious danger. I love the atmosphere and will be coming back, keep up the great work and please, please, never let this event turn into a “the” R” word”!!! On with the show…

Guv’nor Posner: Thank you for organizing a great event. Spectacular course, well-placed aid stations, very friendly volunteers, and the spirit of the event was fun.

Kersplatt Pratt: Thank you and all of the volunteers! So far, it’s the greatest run experience that I’ve ever had.

The last part was amazing. I caught up to the front runner of the 100miler at Gridley Top. It was snowing. He and I were given the go ahead to run to Ridge Junction. I really enjoyed having a running partner up there. I never got his name [Lazedown]. He was a champ, and totally stoked because this was going to be his first 100miler he didn’t DNF. We did a lot of powerwalking, but I was freezing and we decided that I should run ahead after the Rose Valley split. Running alone up there was a little freaky.

When I arrived at R/J I was stripped down and put in a doubled up mummy bag with a nalgeen bottles filled with boiling water to fight the hypothermia (hypothermia is probably an exaggeration. I was really cold). Within about 1/2hr my running parter arrived. Kim and Beth helped us a ton. The nalgeen bottle was a brilliant idea!

After 2.5hrs, the tent was destroyed by the wind and we had to run semi naked and barefoot (with busted up blisters) through the icy mud to the nearest truck. Mike (the guy with Jerry in the chevy truck) was a tireless worker, and always out in the snow. I watched him from inside the truck- unrelenting.

Eventually Mike got back in the truck with a cooler of ice cold Bud Light, and we drank a bunch of beer. That felt good.

The greatest trail run ever. I was well fed, and I even took a shot of whiskey at the 23m mark, and a shot of jägermeister at the 37m mark. I was introduced to grilled spam and cheese sandwiches. I never got tired, though I suspect somebody might have been drugging my food. All the volunteers were super easy to be around. I enjoyed the guy in the chicken suit obsessing about how well he’d marked the trails. Easily the best marked trail run i’ve been on.

BDH Holman: I must echo deserving gratitude to all the aid station crews and running “game” coordinators! Their warm words and actions helped us all keep moving and grooving, even if they couldn’t keep us dry. I have especially fond memories of jamming out in the Howard Creek disco tent. You guys are awesome!!

This was my first attempt at anything longer than 50 miles and lacking in the sunlight department. It lived up to every bit of the adventure I expected. There are a few memories that my brain managed not to block out during the hour of sleep I got before waking up and wondering what the hell happened and why am I sleeping in a car in a monsoon…

* Bowling for bonus minutes
* Meeting a bunch of fellow VHTRC peeps
* Aid stations populated by giant, friendly, furry animals
* Kindness of a fellow runner giving me a dry, loaner jacket for the climb back up to the ridge. Thanks Newton!
* Finally catching my speedier compatriots just in time to slide the last two miles into Cozy Dell
* Jacket #1…not rainproof
* Poncho and duct tape…surprisingly rainproof

Yes, the run ended prematurely and yes, I found this out upon reaching the ridge above Cozy Dell after a fun little 2.5 hour, midnight climb. But I got the pleasure of doing Cozy Dell Trail, not once, not twice, but three times.

Thanks to all for the kick ass time!

Andrew Foote (Vol): For the second year in a row, you’ve experienced conditions that… make this already challenging race a really UNIQUE event. There’s already plenty of elevation gain and loss, a devil of a course, cold and wind are to be expected, especially at night, but . . . when you throw in the wet and the frozen elements, everything changes, and it changes in minutes. When I got to Gridley Bottom to help out just before dark, there was a light drizzle going, and it seemed like perfect “finishing weather” when I started up the trail to Gridley Top. But two miles from the saddle, there was snow on the trail and I was hiking in slush, and the wind was blowing, and the temperature had dropped over 20 degrees. At the aid station, it was REALLY coming down, and COLD, with gusts of wind blowing the tarps and dumping surprise frozen showers down the necks of the volunteers from cracks in between tents. But you wouldn’t know it from Chris and everybody up there. It was just business as usual, same as at Gridley Bottom, with smiling faces and helpful hands passing out hot food and drinks and taking care of everyone.

Spritz Lanctot: Thanks for a most memorable event. I loved every minute of it. It prompted me to start a blog. My first frigg’n blog. Go figure. It took a few years. I guess it needed a really phenomenal event to get it started.

Bloodthirsty Martin: C2M was the funnest, funniest foot adventure that I have ever done! Thanks for all your hardwork and your volunteers’ hard work

and Sue’s work, too! Challenging conditions! “The Ridge remains to be conquered.” Isn’t that the truth? I knew all along that the event could be curtailed due to terrible weather, I was just hoping that it wouldn’t be. Our jolly 6 pm group started off in such good weather and with high hopes!

All the aid stations were absolutely wonderful and the volunteers top notch with lots of positive comments and helpfulness galore. I especially loved Howard Creek where I enjoyed myself with a rum and coke and one of the aid station volunteers attempted to cut out a stubborn tick head (wish I had that picture). At Gridley Top, I enjoyed some great Jack Daniels in coffee with a peep for sweetness – see that picture attached [twice - boy, it's hard to do these things from work] – compliments of Jackalope. Cozy Dell was so friendly to a weary descender – guess I have a bit more hill training to do! Finally I was pretty wet and miserable at Gridley Bottom, but ready to stand up and attack the ridge (with a bit of fear in my heart) when it was announced that we were done. I was actually happy at that point. You see,

I never quit these fun runs. I usually get pulled off the course because I am too slow. Until next year – Many happy trails, moons and howls to all!

Geezer Phillips: Too many ultras are getting full of their own hype these days, and lack the easy going lets-have-some-fun attitude. Fortunately, C2M is still a low-key fun run that we can all enjoy. Who else rents an entire bowling alley for a tournament of a bunch of funny looking non-bowlers, freely passes out boner and bonus minutes that affect your time, and arranges an opportunity with the staggered starts for slow plodders to get to the finish before the fast runners? It does not get any better.

The RD and his staff are incredible. Not only are they responsible for the most innovative and fun 100, but they put in many long days making sure C2M remains a high quality event. Emails, pre and post race activities, staggered starts, boner/bonus minutes, and zany aid stations make the Coyote an event to be remembered. Many, many thanks from all the runners – we owe you.

All volunteers at all ultras are special – we runners could not go out there and have fun without them. I have done over a hundred ultras, but the C2M bunch is the most helpful, the most enthusiastic, and can make the finest gourmet PBJs on the planet. Besides, who else gets to walk or drive out in a roaring storm? They are the Best. Many, many thanks from all the runners – we owe you.

Icky Ocky Horton: I need to acknowledge those cold, wet, tireless volunteers and radio guys that stuck it out up there – giving us the chance to pull the hood back long enough to realize it ain’t no weenie roast.

Now for the moment you’ve been panting feverishly about, the numbers:

100M	Time	100K	Time
Zuckerbär	12.11	Crash	12:11
Sir Francis	12.12	SurfMonkey	12:12
IckyOcky	12.13	Upchuck	12:13
Buford	12.17	GameGeek	12:14
H’ard	12.35	Crunch	12:15
Speedgoat	14.14	Kwijiboe	12:16
Depends	14.38	MonkeyBoy	12:17
Boopstinater	15.28	Gravity	12:18
Padre	15.29	Jumpin’Jack	13:23
MooMan	15.51	Shmoopy	13:27
Patoplasm	15.52	RowingSans	13:29
Bronco	16.21	Mindacious	13:35
NachoDelgado	16.21	TurfMonkey	13:46
D’Artagnon	16.23	BadBoy’sDaddy	14:22
Profiro	16.23	New	14:32
LeadFoot	16.25	Thumper	15:32
RetchMeister	16.39	Flower	15:33
DoppelBock	17.31	Reeks	15:34
LoneRunMan	17.32	Needles	15:56
PowerHouse	20.39	Coaster	16:01
Bull	21.39	TurtleBlitz	16:02
Wheels	21.45	BDH	16:23
MudFlinger	22.41	Au	16:38
Droid	23.08	Chilly	16:39
TrailDucky	23.12	Twanger	16:52
Seamus	23.27	Poddelson	16:53
TundraTurtle	23:32	ShweetFeet	16:55
Waldo	23.47	Random	16:56
TollhouseToughie	23.59	Panda	16:59
Mossbite	24.02	HushHush	17:13
WheezerGeezer	25.39	Farmer	17:23
Pastor	26.18	KerSplatt	17:56
KurrencyKing	26.45	FootDrag	18:02
Vodkalocity	26.53	Sasquatch	18:13
WildMan	27.19	MudnBlud	18:14
Badger	27.32
Blisteroon	28.18
Moose	28.37
ÜberStärke	28.47
Geezer	28.48
Crunch	29.12
Studly	29.37
Dangereux	29.38
Oh Crap!!	29.48
Old Indestructible	29.51
PuddleJumper	29.53
Moondoggy	29.54
Slug	29.55
Spritz	29.57
Bubbles	30.25
BoDiddles	30.28
WinterHawk	30.28
BouldHer	30.29
Karmallow	31.29
Rockus	31.36
Runalong	31.41
BloodThirsty	31.52
CardiacCripple	31.53
Jack’lope	32.19
Dragonfly	32.20
FreezerBurn	32.21
Das Ende	32.27
Guv’nor	32.38
Surprise!!	32.45
TundraTurtle	32.48
Jennzilla	32.52
Chocorunner	33.07
Doughboy	33.29
Cougar	33.42
DeadLast	33.44
Stretch	33.45
Leopard	33.45
Gazelle	33.45
Lazedown	34.08
Bongo	34.26
RipToe’d	34.29
Rocky	34.29
Scatter	34.34
RockHopper	35.34
RedCRider	36.29
BackO’ThePack	36.39
Fleetwing	39.59

TMB: And that’s the end of this posting for 2011… perhaps more stories will squeeze in over the next few weeks, tho there are no more bonus minutes to acquire, no times to improve upon (tho I won’t be surprised by a few whiney responses which may goad me to adjust boner minutes yet again), only stories to embellish… Go Howl!!! TMB, over and out…

# * # * # * # * # * # * # *

And here’s the previous history. Grab another sixpack?

Our ‘08-’10 history is shown in two sets below: (1) the combined raw times of all finishers for all 3 years of Two Moon (we’re “distant” enough from each event that “real” vs “alias” names and (bonus/boner minute-influenced) times have lost some of their intended entertainment and obfuscation) and (2) the heretofore (who uses that word besides Henry Hobbs?) published 2010 Results and related commentary. The combined times presentation will find greater utility later when the next batch of suck-, er, excited registrants search for a reasonably realistic and arguably defensible finish time to help our (on) crack mathematical (read, “dullard”) wizards generate next year’s start groups. The 2nd set of results is the same presentation that sat on this page since shortly after 2010 became history. If you haven’t drifted through that material yet, enjoy your travels…

100M			100K
Name	Year	Time	Name	Year	Time
Meltzer, Karl	2008	19:24	Goggins, David	2008	12:50
Meltzer, Karl	2010	21:02	Sullivan, Kevin	2009	13:10
Campbell, Jared	2010	23:13	Moore, Tracy	2008	13:28
Angle, Justin	2008	23:48	Nielsen, Tom	2008	13:28
Jones-Wilkins, Andy	2008	23:48	Krogman, Brian	2009	14:08
Carr, Derrick	2008	24:50	Sproston, Amy	2008	14:33
Sanchez, Raymond	2009	25:10	Teal, Brent	2008	14:34
Rambach, Whit	2008	25:53	Waddle, Dan	2009	15:10
Koop, Jason	2010	26:01	Toker, Jonathan	2008	15:14
Horton, Roch	2009	26:16	Terranova, Meredith	2009	15:47
Conte, Francesca	2009	26:23	Dart, Hank	2009	15:47
Ruiz, Horacio	2009	26:54	Duncan, Randy	2009	16:09
WheelerJacobs, Wendy	2009	27:27	Gerber, Carol	2009	16:15
Horn, Jochen	2010	27:33	Hemmen, Jennifer	2008	16:26
Kumeda, Andy	2008	28:26	Benna, Jennifer	2009	16:43
Spurlock, Damiel	2008	28:49	Stewart, Jonathan	2008	16:44
Nye, Betsy	2010	29:06	Stewart, Jonathan	2009	16:59
McCarthy, Micheal	2009	29:14	Hughes, Ken	2009	17:09
Sundermeier, Ronda	2009	29:14	Higgins, Kathy	2009	17:09
Cohen, H’ard	2009	29:23	Terranova, Meredith	2008	17:11
Jensen, Karl	2009	29:23	Chastain, Michael	2010	17:14
Timmermans, Lambert	2009	29:25	Bardessono, Leslie	2008	17:21
Jegerlehner, Beat	2010	29:25	Gascon-Amyx, Florencia	2008	17:21
Horton, Roch	2008	29:32	Kreiss-Tomkins, Jonathan	2010	17:27
Nye, Betsy	2008	29:32	Ogata, Tetsuro	2008	17:29
Burg, Jon	2010	29:33	Robertson, Joy	2008	17:42
Owens, Kerry	2008	29:46	Robertson, Joy	2009	17:43
Horton, Roch	2010	30:00	Goodman, Mitchell	2008	17:54
Mason, Scott	2008	30:16	Kohr, Aaron	2009	17:57
Moortgat, Erik	2009	30:21	Mann, Rob	2009	18:07
Hyson, Chad	2008	30:24	Klassen, Manley	2009	18:09
Jensen, Karl	2008	30:24	Natraj, Nattu	2009	18:14
Hankins, Kean	2009	30:28	Swanson, Mark	2010	18:21
Clifton, Eric	2009	30:28	Autrey, Rick	2010	18:39
Parker, Mason	2009	30:32	Jamison, Julian	2009	18:54
McMurtry, Patrick	2010	30:47	Bloom, Jerry	2008	18:55
Ecks, Fred	2009	30:59	Dudney, Gary	2009	19:07
Barbeau, Gilles	2008	31:01	Myers, Larry	2009	19:07
Krause, Shawn	2010	31:22	Morgan, Juliet	2009	19:09
Ham, Nick	2008	31:32	Mann, Rob	2008	19:13
Puerto, Mauricio	2008	31:32	Miller, Christine	2008	19:28
Kumeda, Andy	2009	31:39	Quarles, Georganna	2008	19:28
Crissman, Charlie	2009	31:47	Rhone, Drew	2009	19:28
Jegerlehner, Beat	2009	31:54	Molmen, akabill	2008	19:29
Walther, Harald	2009	31:54	Grapy, Charles	2010	19:36
Douglas, Steve	2008	31:57	Dudney, Gary	2008	19:37
Ogata, Tetsuro	2009	32:08	Watling, Michael	2009	19:40
Corbett, Catra	2009	32:11	Chenault, Dave	2008	19:48
Roget, Vance	2009	32:14	Miller, Christine	2009	19:52
Tollenaar, Drake	2009	32:20	Askew, Deborah	2008	20:00
Barbeau, Gilles	2009	32:30	Heinselmann-Craig, Lori	2008	20:00
Ecks, Fred	2008	32:36	Smith, Lori Pratt	2008	20:00
Ansell, Steve	2009	32:53	Heinselman, Craig	2008	20:04
Mulrooney, Garrett	2010	32:58	Hobbs, Henry	2009	20:16
Cowan, Robert	2008	33:03	Childers, Jill	2009	20:16
Roget, Vance	2010	33:06	Savage, Charlie	2009	20:32
Foote, Andrew	2009	33:12	Johnson, Melissa	2009	20:32
Quivey, Dave	2008	33:14	Sanger, Sandee	2010	20:33
Ansell, Steve	2008	33:32	Read, Bob	2010	20:37
Phillips, Bud	2010	33:48	Mitchell, Joe	2008	20:43
Petersen, Steve	2009	33:49	Muller, Chris	2009	20:55
Ogata, Tetsuro	2010	33:52	Douglas, Deanna	2008	20:57
Baumgartner, Cecil	2008	33:56	Singer, Laurie	2009	21:06
Kee, Bill	2010	33:58	Hanke, Karen	2008	21:10
Warren, Nancy	2009	34:00	Quarles, Georganna	2009	21:10
Stark, Philip	2008	34:05	Matal Sol, Ernesto	2008	21:35
Fancett, Ken	2009	34:16	BragaLevaggi, Samba Ana	2008	21:37
Fairbank, Chet	2009	34:43	Muller, Chris	2008	21:37
Antonis, Leslie	2009	34:44	Abundis, Kim	2009	21:41
Harman, Al	2008	34:47	Cuminale, Carol	2008	21:53
Cook, Bill	2010	34:49	Cuminale, Carol	2009	22:18
Ruiz, Squirrel	2009	34:52	Kohr, Aaron	2008	22:37
Corbett, Catra	2010	34:58	Bryant, Patty	2009	22:39
Marolf, Chris	2008	35:10	Witlicki, Randy	2009	22:54
Dewees, Linda	2009	35:18	Tokheim, Shirley	2008	22:59
Dickson, Rod	2008	35:19	Morita, Mieko	2009	23:04
Willford, Shannon	2008	35:22	Witlicki, Randy	2008	23:10
Phan, Van	2008	35:22	Homelvig, Pat	2010	23:33
Machray, John	2008	35:24	Ozaki, Donn	2009	23:41
Drey, Dennis	2009	35:29	Schlenker, Anita	2009	23:44
Baird, Robert	2009	35:31	Elia, Barbara	2008	23:57
Dobrowalski, Jay	2008	35:32	Fierstadt, Jack	2008	24:06
Fairbank, Chet	2008	35:34	Jebian, Wini	2008	24:22
Drey, Dennis	2008	35:39	Jebian, Lee	2008	24:22
Ruiz, George	2008	35:50	Boyd, Marie	2009	24:48
Antonis, Leslie	2008	36:12	Boyd, Andy	2009	24:48
Slagel, Craig	2008	36:12	Pate, Karen	2008	28:18
Rizk, Levi	2010	36:48
McFadden, Linda	2008	37:03
Warren, Nancy	2010	37:08
Davidson, Peggy	2010	37:08
Clark, Brian	2008	37:34
Hermann, Jakob	2008	37:43
Nguyen, Mylinh	2008	37:53
Idlibi, Mohammed	2008	38:01
Metcalfe, Mark	2008	38:16
Nguyen, Mylinh	2009	38:16
Pham, Chau (Joe)	2009	38:16
Patel, Rajeev	2010	38:25
Corbin, Leigh	2009	38:29
Swistun, Casey	2009	38:35
Amimoto, Diane	2009	38:57
Dyatt, Dean	2009	38:57
Wiggins, Karen	2008	38:59
Vlach, Diane	2010	39:08
Fortini, Kirk	2009	39:18
Boyd, Andy	2010	39:42
Dyatt, Dean	2008	40:49
Homelvig, Pat	2008	42:18

Peep les Heat la Tortillet du Greedliet

And now, back to 2010’s story…

Below the blather of the next paragraph or two, you’ll find the official rankings of finishers in 2010. Below that are ruminations (visible below or links to same plus pics) from those who were out there. Quickly consume the numbers, then enjoy the true fiction stories that follow. And at the end of all that terrific entertainment, will be the Buffoon’s own executive summary in traditional blatherly fashion…

Because conditions were unique enough this year – Snow? Snow? – there’s value in also showing just how far many runners progressed even though Mom Nature blasted us with not just both barrels, but the full battery. Of note, of 61 100M starters, 23 finished, not quite 38% finisher rate; of 37 100K starters, only 8 finished (Sir Francis’ apparition was seen at enough on-ridge aid stations to confirm his finishing – add on his deep well of bonus minutes, and voila!! He wins!! Yay!!), just a smidge over 20% finish rate. Some might say that because many of the 100K’ers started with Mom Nature past her warm up miles – or conversely, the 100M’ers were too far into their own insane investment miles to stop that early – the difference in finisher percentages isn’t a big surprise.

Yes, sucking up and bribing the Buffoon and his more capable pack of Cohorts proved fruitful for the running Two Moon pack. Alas, tho bonus minutes were spread very liberally this year, unfortunately gobs of ‘em didn’t land on finishing times. Very frequent and entertaining goodies in the mail (edible and comical and both – Flash didn’t get that high in the ranking off just her speedy shoes) or handed out upon arrival (Aloha’woo’hoo’ooe!!), risky and laughable e-mails from newbies (Upchuckian in nature), enjoying pre-weekend frivolity opportunities, incredibly poor bowling grace and scores (Grovial and Grapyal manifestations), costumes (w/ and w/o moving parts, Saltlickites), treating aid station staff as cordially as they did you, buddying up cuz you wanted to (several of you), persevering through a barrage of inhospitable conditions (most of you), not carping when you might have done so at a different venue, loving the running… and so many other indicators of trail joy, each earned minutes in your favor. Of course, we found boner behavior, and those minutes may just migrate to next year just on principle: whining as if you were the only one having a rough day (and expecting sympathy? Bwa-ha-ha-ha!!), squirreling away a bottle of champagne just for yourself, exiting a station without courtesy of “thanks” (not expected, but noticed when not proffered), fortunately were the exceptional small population of experiences. Probably good that some of that occurs, else we wouldn’t have the mild thrill of later relating the story of… “remember THAT bozo?”…

I’m guessing the more Type A among readers of the Results will experience some instant frustration in not discovering information that has utility in comparing these performances – even if you do figure out which nickname relates to a real person – with times from other events. Gosh, we should care? Rather, we hope participants appreciate how Two Moon’s character distinguishes it from other venues, so that both for how we’re different and how we’re competently comparable to other sought out events, it’s an easy decision about where you’ll want to spend a two moon weekend in March of next year. For the insatiably curious, send the Buffoon an entertaining plea and perhaps you’ll get a hint of who’s whom below. They know who they are, and they can disclose under separate cover the reality you seek, with better stories than I could possibly fake. Enjoy the hunt ‘n peck on the web…

100M Rankings	Time	Miles
Icky Ocky	19:43	100
Speedgoat	19:47	100
Flash	21:08	100
MooMan	21:48	100
Wild Bill	22:28	100
Chicken Noodle	25:16	100
Boopstinater	26:21	100
Max	26:48	100
Patoplasm	27:05	100
Meat	27:10	100
Baltimoron	28:52	100
Sparkles	28:53	100
Jonnie come lately	29:18	100
Buford	30:37	100
Surge	31:51	100
BeachBum	32:13	100
Geezer Runner	33:33	100
Cocklebur	33:34	100
Outback	34:07	100
Sunshine	34:08	100
DirtDiva	34:13	100
Bus Rider	36:13	100
Rockus	36:40	100
RahRah		81
Chief		81
ChunkyButt		81
Doughboy		81
The Sox		81
Blisteroon		81
Slick		81
Maverick		81
Flywheel		81
Hamster		81
Badger		81
Bulldog		81
Moonshadow		68
Moondoggy		68
Mr. Persistence		68
Smoooooth		68
Dead Last		68
Mr. Grace		68
Lurch		68
Her Lordship		68
Reefer		68
Ducky		68
BoDiddles		68
Waldo		68
Jennzilla		65
ABRAcatABRA		62
Bubbles		54
ArcticLupus		48
Bull		44
The Slug		44
Confused		44
iJilly		44
Chocorunner		44
4midable		44
Jitters		44
TrailDucky		44
gitterdun		32
Depends		26
PowerHouse		23
Cougar		11

100K Rankings	Time	Miles
Sir Francis	14:24	62.5
Dangereux	16:43	62.5
Mossbite	17:04	62.5
QueekDrool	17:09	62.5
J.K. Tizzle	17:17	62.5
Runalong	17:31	62.5
BonHomme	18:16	62.5
BobbyJoBillyBob	19:07	62.5
Rosebud	20:13	62.5
TrailTrash		56
Doongleberry		56
Profiro		43
D’Artagnon		43
Scat		43
Ueberstaerke		43
Muffin		43
Virginia Slim		43
Chonita		43
Shmoopy		43
Grinner		30
Coyote Pooh		30
NeenerNeener		30
Pinkie		30
Digger		30
Victwa		30
Kimmy		28.5
Cactus FiFi Rose		28.5
Upchuck		28.5
Crash		28.5
Kimalicious		28.5
ToughCookie		25
Cringe		18
Sparky		18
∑ß§		18
Bullet		18

Ruminations ‘n Such

Mike Chastain’s (K4) video of Start Group M1

http://img696.yfrog.com/i/vak.mp4/

A YouTube clip? …and then just search for others (e.g., Manley & Mara Klassen’s…)

Victoria Folks, K4 –

“So even though I decided that I was not wearing enough clothes to finish the race, I had a marvelous time for the 25 (yeah, it would have been 30 except for our skipping of the Howard Creek aid station) miles I ran until Cozy Dell. While I’m not sure I’ll be back for the 100M, I’ll definitely be back next year for the 100K again. Thanks for putting on a great race/series of events. And because we all know life is best experienced as a series of Facebook status updates, here’s what I had to say about the day (and yes, I know it’s supposed to be Nordhoff):

I learned several things tonight: 1) A chicken tamal, fresh out of the steamer, might be the best mid-race food EVER. 2) C2M= quality event with great aid stations and great people. 3) Canada’s reputation as a country with quality people was upheld in fine fashion. 4) Clothing for rainy Bay Area runs is woefully inappropriate for snow flurries atop Northoff Ridge.

Seriously, if you get a chance to pass on to Luis that those tamales made my night, I would really appreciate it. Coming in from the cold and being handed a steaming tamal was an experience I would run many miles for.”

Leslie Gerein’s (K4) blog chuckle

Leslie blog

Henry Hobbs’ (K3) pics

http://henry8.shutterfly.com/pictures

Luis Escobar, A/S Chief, Gridley Top –

“After two full days on the Nordoff Ridge / Coyote 2 Moon / Gridley Top Aid Station. I have composed a haiku. Enjoy.

cold dark wet dripping tents

shivering runners stagger in

giant chicken helps them out”

Glenn Tachiyama’s photos

http://www.pbase.com/gtach/c2m10

Bud Phillips, M2 –

“Now that my brain has recovered, I have a few thoughts about the opportunity for the emotional and physical pain and torture that you and your crew provided at C2M 2010. Because of:

1. The 54,000 feet of up and down, some very, very steep, and all on trails or rough roads,

2. The brilliant sunshine (about 15 minutes of it),

3. The cool rain (a lot of it a few times),

4. Some wind (a lot of it a few times),

5. Mud (a lot of it a few times),

6. Several very wet stream crossings,

7. Snow (a lot of it a few times, but especially the run on the fresh three inches along the ridge for miles at 3 AM with a calm wind and a half moon – WOW!),

8. The truly ULTRA volunteers and the RD who could not do enough for the runners – especially those who endured the rain, snow, wind, darkness, and mud at the aid stations on the ridge for hours. They don’t come any better. The runners owe them.

9. Great swag that is definitely distinctive and useful (except possibly the flyer for Sacred Vortex Tours with Elvis of Sedona…),

10. And finally, a fun celebration at the finish line on Sunday morning, complete with a catered breakfast and warm sunshine,

Great C2M run!! The weather always made it interesting – the best part was running the ridge at 3 AM alone with a half moon, some light snow falling, lottsa stars, no wind, and no one else around.

Once again, great volunteers make it happen, so please pass my thanks to all of them – especially the folks on the ridge in the blizzard. I think they were happy just to have a runner show up and help out. The “awards” and chow made Sunday morning fun also – that and the warm sun shining.

- I have determined that the C2M 2010 was one of the most fun ultras I have ever run in over the last 25 years. For me, it was definitely what trail ultrarunning is all about. Many thanks to you and your crew for the run, and see you next year – I wouldn’t miss it.”

Jochen Horn’s (M5) pics:

http://picasaweb.google.com/jochen.horn/CoyoteTwoMoonMarch52010

Mark Swanson, K4 –

“No one knows who won or how the results are computed but we do know this:

- Less than 1/3 of the starters finished.

- I was the best bowler on the second to worst team Thursday. The only worse team was partially populated by zombies. We lead the league in gutter balls.

- I was the first 100K-er across the finish line (6:20AM) but almost certainly not the winner.

- I lined up at noon next to Karl Meltzer. I finished the next morning about three hours ahead of him. You could look it up. Well maybe not online, but Dave Combs has it scribbled down somewhere.

- The 100K has over 19K feet of climbing, the 100M- 25K. It’s gnarly even without weather.

- The week before was sunny and nice, as the week after is predicted to be.

- The forecast was for a big storm to move in Saturday around noon (my starting time) and move out Sunday morning (presumably just as I crossed the finish line).

- How big? Forecasts were ambiguous. If the storm veered a little west, we would get a glancing blow and apart from some showers and very cold temps, no big deal. If the storm veered more to the east, it could be epic.

The first 100M’s started Friday evening, the rain started on schedule Saturday at 11. Our group left at noon. Until well after dark we experienced about 1/3 dry, 1/3 showers and 1/3 hard rains. Up high the rains turned to hail, then sleet, then snow. The sleet blew sideways and stung my face. The snow came down in big fluffy flakes and brought joy. The rain was cold, miserable and disheartening. No one ever knew what would come next but reports were it would get worse in the evening and then stay bad through Sunday morning. I was feeling whiney.

The trail to Cozy Dell (mile 30 for 100K-ers) included two steep miles of slick clay mud. If you know clay mud you know that it is the equivalent of a surface layer of vaseline over a base of stainless steel. Pretty much everyone was falling down. At Cozy Dell at 8, I put on warmer clothes for the trip back up to the arctic ridge. In the course of changing clothes I got chilled. The guy next to me dropped. The rain went from drizzle to downpour. I didn’t want to go back out into the cold rain, I didn’t want to go back up the muddy trail, I didn’t want to go back up on the frozen ridge. But I went. Some stupid voice in my head said, “How can you make plans to go to Barkley if you can’t handle this?” I left the warm tent, the rain stopped and never returned. Later I found out that lots of folks dropped out just about that time, not wanting to face a full night of this crud. On the ridge a blizzard was raging with white-out conditions. Trail markers were obliterated. The RD began worrying about the safety of runners on a 6000′ ridge, in the middle of the night, in freezing white-out conditions. [The guy’s an idiot of epic proportions.]

The rest of my night was lots of fun. From the ridge there are four down and up again spurs; plus the trail that we ascend initially and descend ultimately. We cover about nine miles of the ridge. As the night wore on and the clouds parted, guess what? The ridge got warmer. Go figure.

I began my nine mile trek along the ridge from Gridley Top to Ridge Junction around 3AM. Soon I was in 2, 3, 4 inches of snow. A winter wonderland. This wasn’t here a few hours ago. My flashlight went dead and I left it off. The moon was now out, the new snow shining bright; the city lights stretching as far as the eye could see 5000′ below, the shooting stars put on a show for free. It wasn’t very cold. I was feeling groovy.

It was great connecting with so many ultrarunning friends and acquaintances. Chris Scott and his pals put on a unique and wonderful event. But it isn’t usually this unique. Not quite epic, but with a small change in atmospheric pressure, it certainly could have been.”

Pics from Radio guy Steve James at Howard Creek

http://picasaweb.google.com/gravityhrocks/CoyoteTwoMoon2010?feat=directlink#

Elizabeth Comer, K2 –

“I’m not ready to use the word “fun” as a description for my race – but I now have a revenge plan to set into motion. That and a nasty case of poison oak to go along with my memories. I probably shouldn’t have lain on the trail for my cry.”

Dawn Banka’s (K2) pics

http://dawnbanka.shutterfly.com/1397

Pat McMurtry, M4, comment plus his videos –

“Thanks for a great weekend. It is crazy that this wild experience renewed my interest in running ultras. A lot of great camaraderie out there to help get us all through. Even in the worst of the storm, everyone I met out there on the course managed a smile which helped pull me towards the finish. But hey, the weather was awesome and made up for any little upsets in my plans! Definitely a most memorable experience.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLiahUk3oCc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFkGa7-583g

George Velasco, M1 –

“No matter what, I had the time of my life… fun, misery, hopelessness, some pain. I am coming back again. The only real complaint I have is when I was coming up Howard Creek in the snowstorm Sat night somebody put the bride of Chucky evil ass leprechaun on the trail and he would not let me pass with those sharp teeth. I started to shake and get shivers up me spine. I got the courage to stab it with my treeking pole and realized it was a snow covered bush… thanks to all, just a great experience!!!”

Pics from Volunteer John Fisher at Howard Creek

http://picasaweb.google.com/gravityhrocks/C2MHowardCreekASJohnFisherSPics#

Upchuck Garcia, Crash Carroll & Cactus Rose Haney, K3 –

“We wanted to shoot you a quick email to extend our heartiest ”Mahalo” for showing us a good time at C2M!

The race and all the events leading up to the big enchilada was a hoot – better than a luau on the beach!

Who would have figured you would order up wind, rain, sleet, and snow to show us misplaced islanders a good time? I know we are winter deprived, but….

We absolutely loved every minute of the run (right up to the part where we got cut at Gridley Top).

Seriously, thank you for all your hard work and organization! The volunteers were superb - they go above and beyond what one would expect at an aid station!

Hope to come back and do this one again some day soon, but you can bet we will be beggin’ for the earliest start time available!”

Volunteer (Topa) Anstr Davidson’s pics

http://anstr.phanfare.com/4588145

Jared Campbell, M6 –

“It was so great to participate in one of the most beautiful, challenging, well marked, superbly supported, and comical events I’ve done to date. The conditions made the whole thing just that much more “memorable”.

It was fun trying to not let Karl catch me. I love the theory behind your staggered start and towards the end the beauty of it became very apparent. I had a very lonely race for about 65 miles and then I started catching and passing people. During the final hours of the race, up on the damn cold ridge running back to the Ridge Junction Aid Station it was great to see other people and feel the group energy pull everyone to the finish.”

Jai Ralls, M5 –

“Well, what a great event you guys put on- even if I had to drop cuz of hypothermia- out of my own stupidity (NO WARM CLOTHES) – I guess I learned something valuable. I had at least 30 mins on the rest of M5 until I got back on the Ridge & T-shirt and shorts wasn’t keeping me warm – numb hands & arms – with no warm clothes until Gridley – I wouldn’t have made it through the night, so I headed back down to the S/F to find my sleeping bag also wet! Also, I wanted to say – I loved this course, and had I been better at planning – would have loved to see the rest of it. So, I’ll be back next year (also, to bowl) and will pack my snow suit in drop bag. Thanks for all the effort. This was the coolest (coldest) ultra I have ever done!”

Radio Guy Dave Tersigni’s photos

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=9850&id=100000306320794&l=fb2d4baea8

Dave Dyatt, M1 –

“WOW!!! What a great weekend. I felt great (other than couldn’t keep my feet dry in the rain, I had California prunes for feet) and learned a bunch. The aid station crews were awesome and so helpful. Fun environment across the board. Great event, crews, participants and best of all, the fabulous prizes.

Thanks for a great time. Same time next year…..”

Monica Scholz, M4 –

“Wow, you put on a great race! Everything was super…volunteers, aid stations (to the extent that I got to visit them – har, har), pre-race festivities. It was all great.”

Marie Boyd’s (Andy Boyd M1 Super Mate) pics

http://picasaweb.google.com/marieboyd6/C2M2010?feat=directlink

Andy Boyd, M1 –

“C2M IN 2010 was a memorable time. We are so thankful you added a bit of weather to make the event kinda tough. Not sure what we would have done if we had had dry feet, warm bodies and traction. Please give our thanks to all your volunteers that made this past week possible; we have firsthand knowledge of the conditions they were in and still provided us with the necessary fluids, nutrition and encouragement to finish.”

Jakob Herrmann’s (M1) photos

http://jakob.smugmug.com/Sports/Ultra-Marathon-31-miles-to-100/2010-March-5-Coyote2Moon-100/11477419_b2B6C#807427091_zVqE4

Dean Dyatt, M1 –

“Arriving for frivolity and humor that, by all appearances, is the essence of Coyote Two Moon, it started for us Thursday night at Ventura Bowling where various characters and creatures descended. A Big Bunny http://www.pbase.com/gtach/image/122589199 and Cowyote http://www.pbase.com/gtach/image/122589206 that glowed in the dark,(and in the light for that matter), a Glittery Nye http://www.pbase.com/gtach/image/122589205, a Slumber Party Meltzer, pirates, bikers, Napoleon Dynamite and assorted others (some who took the evening’s events much too seriously http://www.pbase.com/gtach/image/122589201).

Starting in the 6 pm group with 14 others, the evening was tranquil except for the occasional staccato cry of coyotes at play on the trail. Night descended while we ascended but the temperatures were pleasant indeed. At Sisar AS, the St. Patty’s Day festivities were in full swing as we arrived and they catered to us with great efficiency. We performed our brief rendition of The Three Little Pigs and headed back out on the trails just as the Moon Loon arrived. Shortly before reaching the White Ledges trail head, we were met by the 8 pm runners on the their way to Sisar.

The Topa AS was, (and had erected) a Beacon of Light on the ridge and Manley & Mara blessed us with kind service as we prepared to top Topa Topa. The trail up Topa was much less snowy than the last 2 years and the Topa Topping Trip didn’t take long.

On the Lion Canyon trail, the streams were quite swollen and there was water in new places such that it was difficult to cross without some moistening of the feet. The Patagonia Poobah of Rose Valley AS helped us quickly and we were out on the trails in no time at all. Moonshadow and Sparkles continued up the trail while I took my time with another runner who was having stomach issues. Nearing the top of Lion Canyon, with assurances from my companion that he would be alright, I headed for Topa AS.

The sun was climbing in the sky as I climbed up to the Topa AS where a gust of wind had stripped away their protective covering but Mara was in good spirits, and showered me with Breakfast Burritos, shooing me down the trail toward Ridge Junction.

Shorting before arriving at Ridge Junction AS, the clouds began sprinkling their joy but weren’t trying to seriously dowse my spirits and the stop at RJAS was brief, pleasant and uneventful.

Continuing across the top of Nordhoff, the clouds became more serious about sharing their joy and the wind joined with its mirth. By the time I arrived at the chipseal road descending into Rose Valley, the rain had become a steady dance of delight. I crossed paths with Moonshadow and Sparkles as they were ascending to the ridge. Rose Valley had marvelous, warm, crispy quesadillas, friendly (and I suspect, amused) staff who provided good care and returned me to my journey.

After Rose Valley, the climb up the road generated a number of new, colorful adjectives regarding hills, gravity and physics in general. The ridge to Howard Creek was an exercise in persistence. The mirth of the wind had burst into full gales of laughter and the joy of the clouds had solidified into crunchy clumps of white which the wind gleefully sent sideways with enthusiastic delight. Fearing the fun of hypothermia, another layer clothes seemed prudent and a while after, the descent into Howard Creek began, where I again crossed paths with Moonshadow and Sparkles.

The Howard Creek Trail was an opportunity to practice my trail disco in preparation for the full blown Disco Party going on at the Howard Creek AS. The BeeGee’s crooning of Stayin’ Alive seemed was especially meaningful amid the laughter of the rain and the mirth of the breeze. Some hot soup, a few kind words, and a swift kick in the rear helped get my trail disco started again and I started back up to the Ridge.

Gridley Top Aid Station, better known as the High Kingdom of the Two Moon Buffoon, was a party looking for a place to break out. The laughter and mirth of the wind and the rain managed to keep things in check, otherwise who knows what might have happened. A visit with the Grand Loon of Chaos told me I better get moving along, lest the tyranny of time claim another victim. The environs around Nordhoff Peak were a walk in the clouds—-literally. The clouds wrapped the peak in their embrace and mercifully hid the more part of the climb from view.

After beginning the descent on the Cozy Dell Trail, I continued on for 15 minutes and didn’t see a single soul returning from its depths. During previous C2M’s, there were folks aplenty returning from the bottom as I tended to be among the slowest to ever attempt this insanity. The encroaching darkness, the silence, the clouds and the rain, all combined with my distance addled brains to convince me that I must have taken the wrong trail. So I turned around and began climbing to find where I had made my mistake. A short while later, a downhill runner convinced me that I hadn’t made a mistake and I began descending once again. As the darkness closed in, so did the hallucinations. Nothing serious, just a few runners who weren’t really there, plus a few that were.

Winding through the trees, there were runners returning to the ridge, but in numbers were far less than normal. No one bore tales of a beast or chasm that was devouring those foolish enough to venture into it’s realm. But I knew something was horribly wrong. And then I encountered a beast so foul that none who passed dared mention it’s name.

Clay Mud.

Purported by some to be imported from Albuquerque to torment coyotes, this last portion of the trail, and for most, this was indeed the, LAST PORTION OF THE TRAIL, was akin to trying to catch a greased pig on an ice rink wearing bowling shoes (you, not the pig). Even with trekking poles, I plastered my backside with mud at least once and came close to face planting several other times. The few hardy souls climbing back up the trail reported that it was easier going up but maybe I hallucinated that. In my head, Paul Simon kept singing, “The nearer your destination, the more you slip-sliding away…”

The NorCal Trio of Sparkles, Flash and Sunshine were gleefully heading back up shortly before I reached bottom and gave words of encouragement but the evil mud monster was going to claim another victim. What little determination was left in my weary soul had been completely decimated by the greased pig. With the unknowns of the Gridley Trail and possible hypothermia crossing the ridge still facing me, I decided I had enough.

Arriving at the Cozy Dell Aid Station I found Moonshadow having problems with prune feet and he decided to finish his travels here as well, which in my exhausted and delirious state, was just fine with me.

In spite of the trials and tribulations of the weekend, I still love Coyote Two Moons. The kind manner in which the Moon Loon watches over his kingdom is a blessing (and a curse) for all who care to be touched by it’s lunacy. The fun and achievement rolled into one crazy, giddy, serious, happy and challenging weekend is a gift for all who allow themselves to be touched by the Scepter of the Two Moon Buffoon.”

Rajeev Patel’s (M1) pics and his blog post

http://rajeevtherunner.smugmug.com/Other/2010-Coyote-Two-Moon/11478030_2nuqN#807468008_H7Er2

http://rajeevtherunner.blogspot.com/2010/03/howling-at-coyote-two-moon-100m.html

Carmela Layson, M2 –

“My decision to drop early on from the race has nothing to do with the weather but it turned out to be one of the smartest and mature decisions I’ve ever made in my life. As you also may know, I signed up for this race on the context of “impulse racing” – well, that backfired royally– one can’t get away with running a 100 miles (let alone C2M) without all your heart, mind, and body’s determination to finish. My heart and mind were never in the race – even when I was running it on Friday night. I fooled my friends, my family, and MYSELF!!! The passion was not there in the first place. I had all the Alpine and rain gear to last me a week because I knew the conditions would be bad – the body was ready to move on but without the mental tenacity and heart to go on – I was done.

I loved the course - the gorgeous mountainous terrain, steep climbing, rocky descents, and numerous stream crossings – as if it was made for me but the timing was just not right. It’s unfinished business so I’ll be back – not sure when but hopefully soon.

Thank you for the fun and entertainment, I had a blast even though I chose to end my party early on. I’ve already recruited other lunatics to join the 2011 parrrteeeee……OOOOowwoooooo!!!”

Nancy Warren, M2 –

“Waiting for the 8pm start on Friday was eternal. If there was a more powerful word, I would use it. A group of about 20 runners line up along the soccer field for the informal “Go!” We run along the grass before reaching the trail and immediate climb. Filtering single-file up the switchbacks, Peggy and I motor on. Within 20 minutes, more than half the runners pull ahead. The group has spread out and it is just Peggy and I. There is no pressure and the calm night is beautiful. The weather is stable but we are prepared. The climb continues…. up, up, and up for about 1:40. We top out and run along the ridge and down to Sisar, the first aid station at 11.5 miles. We pick through the goodies, turn around and head back up. The fire road is long, longer than it felt coming down. My watch is buried beneath my many layers and I have no idea of time. It is early in the race but we are steady and moving well. We power into Topa aid station and continue the one mile vertical climb up. It is up and I mean straight up. You must reach the top and select a playing card from the deck. You will also visit the “talking head.” It is a climb you will never forget. Weather is holding but the wind chill is FREEZING. White smoke pours through my face warmer.

In and out of the aid station. We grab a bite as we exit. I feel concern as my hamstrings are starting to feel tight – not a good sign. I wonder if I am going out too fast… I tell Peggy I need to drop back. I’ve been on this course before and I know what’s ahead. We run towards Rose Valley, mile 26.7. It is an eerie section. The trail goes on and on with several water crossings. We wade across the ice cold, shin deep water, my body immediately chilled. It is theWee hours of the morning and NOT refreshing to me. We make it to Rose Valley where they are cooking up hot turkey & cheese quesadillas. I pull out a lactaid and inhale the food. Out we go for the long haul back up to Topa. The morning is cool but clear. We reach the A/S and top off our bottles. They are serving egg & potato burritos and I stash one for the road.

The sun is rising. We are onto the second day. We shuffle downhill on our way to the Ridge A/S. We turn onto the fire road. The climb is gradual but it goes on and on. It continues ON without an end. Mental, it is all mental. I am seriously having thoughts that we’ve missed a turn. It feels like we’ve been powerwalking for hours. I am starting to get hungry. Neither of us is eating between aid stations. The gap is too long and I can feel it. I start fantasizing about food – ALL food. Foods that I wish I could have right now. I am doubtful that we are heading in the right direction and I dread the thought of turning around. At every corner, I ponder turning back. I can see Martin up ahead and Diane and Dave behind us. It gives me hope but it doesn’t feel right. Another corner and alas, the chalk arrow directing us to the Ridge and food. Humongous, hot pancakes fresh off the griddle! I am in heaven. I spread grape jelly on top but before I can get a bite, I notice white flakes falling from the sky. Snow, yes it is snowing. I am dumbfounded. I see Dave pulling out his rain gear and I follow his lead. The volunteers tell me that it is REALLY cold on the other side. I don’t hesitate. Out come the rain pants and jacket. Fumbling around with baggies and balance, I shove the pancake down my throat and pull on my clothes. Diane has now joined us. She and Peggy head down the road as I get myself together.

It is now raining and continues to rain with short spurts of snow and more rain and then pouring rain. I am prepared with all my clothes. My REI pants are working. I am dry and comfortable but the very tight waist is crushing my stomach. It starts to annoy me. We run and walk, up and down the fire road heading into Rose Valley. It is the second visit at mile 48.8. I pass up the food and race to my drop bag. I dig around for my scissors and cut the waist strap. Instant relief. I am feeling good but my stomach now seems to be aggravated. It is express-processing and what I take in, must come out. I am layered with shorts and pants and it is inconvenient pulling everything off and on. I pick up a flour tortilla with turkey and a few chips. We all get what we need and head back out.

I am dreading this road. It is a long hill with some steep sections and I am struggling. I try not to let my “ego” take over. Diane has borrowed a trekking pole and she is moving well. Peggy is beside her and I have dropped back. I power on the gradual and crawl on the steep. It sucks for me to be slow but I remind myself that I am moving and that’s all that matters. Reaching the top is monumental. I am glad to be past that part and heading down to Howard Creek. My Run-legs have resurfaced and I take the lead into the next aid station at mile 55.2. Howard Creek Rocks! The volunteers are full of energy and the food….. it is AMAZING – Homemade bread, soup, chocolate chips cookies. They have everything and they are taking care of us like babies. Jose is there with Java Chip, cheeseburgers and a milkshake and hugs. Diane’s parents have come to cheer for us. We linger a little too long before stuffing our pockets and heading back up towards Gridley Top.

The homemade cookies are carrying me but it is obvious that none of us are taking in proper calories for the extended climbs. My stomach is still dysfunctional and I have to make another stop. I take care of business and get on with the hill. More climbing up to Gridley. Onto the fire road, turn after turn….. where the Hell is it? Chalk, more chalk, funny things written in chalk and the A/S. The three of us see Chris and give him a hug. We are SO happy to be here. We pick at the food. Nothing looks appealing. Tamales.. Did you say Tamales? Oh, I wish I could eat one but I pass. I go for the Pringles and M&M’s and a PB&J. Diane grazes but Peggy is barely eating.

The next section is the longest. It is the trail straight from Hell. We have warned Peggy. It is 7.7 miles downhill and what goes down must come up. The sky is growing dark, very dark. The rain starts in and continues and it is getting colder. I am so thankful for my pants. We carefully make our way to Cozy Dell. There is nothing COZY about this section hence, renamed Cozy HELL. The pouring rain has saturated a 2 mile section. It is packed with deep mud and is very slippery. It’s hard to maneuver around the rocks… We go very slow. Everyone is silent, concentrating. Up and over and around another corner.. where is that Damn aid station?! I need to change clothes. I cannot get cold. We reach the road and A/S. Seeing Jose is a dream come true. He gathers our drop bags and heads to the van. He blasts heater. It is a long break but much needed. We change clothes while trying to eat and do everything else. I pull on three fresh long sleeve shirts, two beanies, new gloves and tape heating pads all over my body. I eat soup, cookies and load up on Java Chip. Diane eats a rice and seaweed something. It looks good but her mom’s homemade cookies are what I want. I glance over at Peggy and see that she has faded into the “relaxed” zone. She needs to get out of the van. We have been inside too long. We pull on our hoods and plunge back out into the rain. I glance at the aid station and notice a number of runners taking the “chair.” I never look back.

Diane and I know this climb. It is daunting and mentally, it can suck you dry. We know we can do this. We are all having some personal struggles. None of us are eating enough to maintain. Diane and Peggy are feeling nauseous and the occasional dry heave has taken over. It is painfully SLOW traipsing through the mud. Runners are coming towards us headed down to Cozy. The trail is narrow and the mud is deep and slippery. Each step is another challenge. We just keep plugging. Lights below and above; runners are scattered along the trail. Each of us has a moment and we stop halfway to deal. We continue climbing nonstop. Hours later we reach the top. Chris is waiting. I give him a hug and tell him that it was eternal coming back up; we are slowing. He tells me that Peggy and I need to hustle. Internally, I freak out. Externally, I panic. It is obvious. I feel rushed as we TRY to reload and get out. Nothing looks good but we NEED to eat. We need to move.

As we head out, a different “Nancy” appears. The word “Hustle” is stuck inside my head and relates to cut-off and DNF…. We need to run and I do. We shuffle down the switchbacks maneuvering around the many rocks. It’s more than difficult and slow….shuffle, shuffle, walk, step over rocks, repeat, feet rolling everywhere, shuffle, step, walk. We are on our way down the 5.8 miles to Gridley Bottom, the LAST hill. Hallucinations have set in for everyone. Mine are extreme – old people in chairs, monkeys, dogs….. I feel alert but the things I see are unreal….. I am leading down the hill. My run legs are working. It is all mental…..hustle, hustle, hustle…. Peggy asks if I am Ok. I stand still in the middle of the trail. I have dozed off. We have to keep moving. Down, down, rocks, walk, rocks….We finally make it to Gridley Bottom A/S, 80.5 miles. We all want to see Jose. He gathers our drop bags and waits on us like Queens. I pull off my rain jacket and shirt. I overlap with another long sleeve and Marmot jacket, balaclava, new beanie and vest. I am ready for the cold. The volunteers are at our beck and call. We barely pick at the food. Nothing looks appealing. Someone offers me a burrito. Beans, cheese, salsa… Barf…. but I take it and eat half. A few sucks of java chip and out we go. The rain has stopped with the exception of a light mist. We start the final ascent. We see lights coming from the ridge. People are headed down to Gridley. My mind plays tricks and visions are flying. The weaving begins. I am all over the trail and totally aware but I cannot control it. Another pit stop. I am really getting tired of this. I glance at the time but don’t remember what I’ve seen. I try to move as fast as I can. Push, push, push.. We need more calories…. Climbing, climbing, people running down.. people passing UPhill and they are running! How can they be running Uphill ? They MUST be the 100k? We continue pushing…. Switchback after switchback.. I see the ridge. Where are the lights, the aid station, anything? Round and round and round every corner. Where is the ridge? Turn, turn, turn… Oh, a straight-away, this must be it!…….. more climbing, pushing harder, harder….. I see it, a house, a Cow? Gridley Top, mile 86.3. No one wants anything. Peggy and Diane sit for a minute while I browse the table. Time is on my mind.. I need food. We need to hurry. I wonder if we can run the ridge?

I grab some Pringles, gingerale and handful of peanut M&M’s. What can it hurt? We are now on the home stretch. Not more than 5 minutes pass and we are all going through the gag, gag, poop. Whatever…. We have about 12 miles left. We don’t run the ridge. We walk fast.. as fast as we can. We round the corner and see snow, miles and miles of snow. It is spectacular but is it SNOW. There are lights far behind us and they are catching up. We continue walking fast. In the distance the clouds are thick and black; I don’t want to go there. A couple of people pass us. They look strong and they are running. We turn each corner hoping for that LAST aid station but it’s not there. More runners pass and in the far distance, I can see them. We have a very long way to go. Our feet are covered with snow but no one complains. Our fingers are like sausages trapped inside our gloves. They are swollen. I am afraid to look. We keep moving swiftly. We are running out of gas. It’s been hours since we’ve eaten anything substantial. Peggy pulls a bar from her pack. We split it into thirds and it saves us for the time being. I am sensing the time and feel like we are running out. We walk as fast as we can but the “worry” feeling lingers. We walk and walk, pushing. We reach the final A/S. We know we are close. We head down the snowy fire road onto the rocky single track and downhill to the finish. I keep looking at my watch but I cannot make any calculations. We shuffle, walk, repeat. Peggy assures me that we have time. We reach the flat. We are almost there. We keep shuffling. I can see the gate. People are yelling RUNNERS, RUNNERS! We hold hands and make our way around the field to complete the 100. The three of us have finished Coyote 2 Moon!!!!

Thanks for the BEST Race! Wow, challenging this year but SO worth it. Also, HUGE thanks to all the incredible volunteers who really took the time to take care of us out there.”

Jon Burg’s (M4) pics

http://picasaweb.google.com/burgjon/CoyoteTwoMoonMar2010?feat=directlink

Roch Horton, M4 –

“In hindsight, the event was nothing short of…er.. quintessential Coyote.. Even some ugly weather could not totally dampen the spirit for those wanting to persevere. The customized goody bag, the fornicating pigs at 3 in the morning, the talking head on Topa at sunrise, 3 gutter balls in a row , Ray doing his magic, redlining my heart rate trying to keep up with….the Cat in the Hat. – some handsome black man in a fur coat sporting a BD ski hat standing in the rain… no detail left unattended. My bonus minutes should rain down equally on all those others who finished or tried so hard to finish, but mostly to those hearty souls working the aid stations. I have never needed them as I needed them Saturday night. Those tamales were God in a wrapper and Luis, Har’d and Mark et al were Moses parting the waters to allow me to continue. I could go on and on. I did.

The finest moment of the entire day/night however could unfortunately only be witnessed by a chosen few willing to make it back to that island of grass. Windless dawn, dead quiet, drop bags emptied miles back, moon drowsy in the eastern sky, islands floating off shore, surfers suiting up while a cadre of exhausted athletes shuffled their way through 6 inches of snow across that now infamous ridge. Not even the buffoon could write a better script. But he did.

Thanks again for the equal parts of euphoria and suffering. Dave Terry would be proud…..

It’s my log book and it’s slowly drying out.”

Two Moon Buffoon’s superfluous words –

“C2M’s menu is a bit different, some by design (e.g., staggered start, ur-serious?), some by necessity (e.g., tending to on-ridge constraints weeks before runners even think of coming to Ojai). The recipe gained new ingredients this year with Nature tossing in more than a pinch of salt – white stuff across the ridge, down to within feet of Gridley Top starting mid-day Saturday, ending with a look of cake’s powdery icing to slog through in the final hours of Sunday morning, for that small percentage who endured through the thickest batter. Edging very close to opting for extracting ridge-top vehicles from the increasing powder, Nature fortunately halted her barrage and we continued full-scale support as the night sky cleared to reveal the waning moon. Still, while runners and most volunteers were enjoying Sunday’s brunch under a warm sun at Thacher, issues of vehicle extraction from the ridge invaded, yet remained hidden, amid the post-run tranquility. That “side dish” is but one of countless stories that suggest a bountiful menu of experiences spreading across the banquet table of C2M ’10.

While C2M does pervade our lifestyle throughout the year – those nifty brochures in runner bags don’t just magically appear – the suggestion that the event looks organized speaks volumes more about the willingness and motivation of our volunteers (station and radio people alike) to offer high class support without the need for “by the book” recipe instructions. The Coyote presentations, over the last dozen years, splendidly prove that playful attitude and focused competence blend well for us and our runners. Synergy?

Much as I try to find adequate words about the Coyote experience, I persistently fail, and with help from many, just let each year’s recipe gather its own ingredients. Not for want of motivation, but more from recognition that there’s less script to its presentation than there is personal discovery of one’s own experience out there. Stories shared aren’t about elaborating or clarifying common conditions as much as learning of each other’s unique moments somewhere on those trails. For example, each visitor, on each pass, through Gridley Top A/S seemed to have something new to throw into the pot of stories. And that was but one location among several others. Best to finish by suggesting you re-read some of the accounts above, or write your own if you had the thrill of doing Coyote, or find others’ words elsewhere on the ‘net. Each comes out of the oven with its own delicate and rich flavor. Think I’ll grab a bite to eat and grab a beer, too…

Care to come to C2M 2011 and mix up a different recipe yet again?”